Tag Archives: Leadership Communication

Workplace Whispers

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Do you remember the game called, “Telephone” or “Whispers”?  The game starts with one person telling a short story to someone else.  Typically one whispers it into the other person’s ear.  The person who heard the story immediately whispers the story to another person and so the story gets retold down the line.  Once the last person hears the story he retells the story for all to hear.

You have played this game as a child right?  You know what happens.  The last story is nearly always different from the original story.   As children we laugh at the difference and how the last story becomes silly in some way.

As adults we may have tried the same game in a team building workshop.  The result is typically the same.  After a good laugh we debrief and agree that (1) listening skills are important and (2) information can be easily corrupted.  Alas, we are wiser for the experience.    Yet was that all it was … a learning experience isolated to the workshop?

No.  The “game” continues each day in our workplace.  Workplace whispers are all around us.  I am not talking about gossip.  I am talking about key business discussions and decision-making.  A modern workplace is a complex environment with a number of employees involved in projects and regular workflow.  So often one person involved tells another person something important about the business practice at hand.  That person tells a second person and so the discussion goes – one person to one person to the next.  Yep, by the time the original important conversation makes it to the last person in the chain … something changed.

The change can be in actual content or more subtle with intent or meaning.  Communication is easy and yet so very hard if we do not take the correct steps to assure we understand each other.  As leaders we need to be good communicators (duh, we know that).  As leaders though we need to assure communication is effective all around us in our workplace or wherever we act as a leader.  As leaders we are responsible not just for ourselves, but for the environment where we work.

When I recognize that a whisper game is alive in my workplace I strive to pull everyone together and reset the discussion.  We go back to the original conversation and bring it to the surface for all to hear.  No more whispers from one person to the next.  Our focus is to build shared meaning.   I start with, “this is how I understand it …”.  We  encourage others to speak and share.

I have visited many business workplaces in corporate environments.  The office layout alone is set up for the whisper game to thrive.  Individual offices are everywhere.   True open space is limited.  Group discussion outside of a conference room is discouraged by the office layout.   As I read about how modern high-tech companies are set up with more open, shared space I see the environment to limit whisper games.  Pixar built its headquarters to force people to see each other often.  The same for Facebook’s new headquarters.  Open environments to encourage shared communication.

A last thought on whisper games at work – email discussions is a new form of the whisper game.  We discuss first through email.  Yet, communication goes well beyond the words we choose to use in email.  As such how can we truly communicate with each other on important items exclusively through email?   I have come back from back-to-back meetings to find a long string of emails on the same conversation thread (you too I bet).  So what should we do?  For me the folks involved in these emails are generally nearby in the same building.  It is important to know when to call for a face to face meeting to talk, understand each other, and build shared meaning.

“Come in closer.  I want to tell you a secret.  Are you listening?  Okay, watch out for the whisper game.  Pass it on.”

Silence

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We begin in silence.

Then we speak.  Each of us has much to say.  While others speak, we prepare to speak again.   Are we hearing each other?  Are we reaching a point of understanding or decision?  Often our talk is overwhelming and more talking is not the answer.  At times we need silence to communicate.

Silence as a tool begins with self.   Each of us has moments when we can not find the off button and we continue to talk, often repeating ourselves.   Our point was made, but we continue.  As with writing a blog, we should speak with a sense of “word count”.    Our communication is best when tight, purposeful, and focused on engaging others in the conversation.  Our silence allows others to speak and for us to listen and hear them.

Indeed, let others speak.  As leaders we focus on moving people forward into positive territory.   Shared understanding paves that road and how can I assure we are together if I do not listen to others?   My silence sets the stage for others to speak and for me to listen.  If each of us will work to balance our speaking with our own silence, we will indeed hear more.

Silence as a tool goes beyond use at the personal level.  As leaders we can use silence directly with a group.   To start, in a group setting, people will not allow silence to last.   It is an old workshop facilitator trick … if you stop speaking and allow silence to linger, someone else will speak.  It may take 30 seconds (feels like a lifetime), but someone will speak.

Silence can also become a direct, out-in-the-open approach to communication.  During a difficult discussion with a group, call for a period of silence.   As researcher Charlotte Roberts states, “calling for a period of silence – not in frustration, but in anticipation”.  A period of silent time can allow the group to tap into the “gathered mind”. People will begin to speak again and hopefully, after gathering their thoughts, the discussion will go in a positive direction. 

Silence is a means to center a group deep in discussion.  When we sense the conversation is going in different directions and those dreaded side-conversations are beginning, we need to call for silence.  In some cases this silent time can and should last minutes.  The reflective time typically allows the participants to reach for the center and begin the discussion with renewed focus.

Communication is often challenging.  One may say that we mis-understand each other as often as we understand each other.  Silence is a means to understanding.  Use it well.

Effective Communication: Step into the Circle

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I attended a meeting recently and saw something different as I entered the room.  Instead of the typical long rectangular conference table there were just chairs arranged in rough circles, one within the other (see illustration below).  Immediately I knew this meeting was starting well.  As leaders we can not dismiss the importance of room layout for group discussions (a.k.a. the dreaded business meeting).  I learned this lesson from my days as a corporate trainer: step into the circle to maximize your communication.

What I mean by “step into the circle” is the deliberate process to step forward as a means to get both physically and psychologically closer to your audience.  This act can aid your message and help you to engage the audience.  This is not just for a presentation with you as the main speaker.  This communication approach is great for regular meetings that may include different speakers.  The room set up allows for this movement and approach to communication.   By stepping into the circle you are announcing that “I have the floor. Listen to what I have to say.”

Why is this communication approach effective?  It starts with visibility.  all eyes and ears are focused on the center of the room and guess what, you are it.  There is room to move within the central area and you should use it to your advantage. Walk and get closer to folks as you speak and they speak.  Work to channel the conversation to others by moving across the floor to the other side.

Here are some other advantages of this communication approach:

  • Control the energy of the conversation.  By standing in this middle ground you remain the central entry and can, by movement, engage different parts of the room.
  • Establish a level of equality. There is a level of equality with these circular room seating arrangements.  Think of the Knights of the Round Table.  Think of so many native people who typically talk in a circle.  All have a voice and can join the conversation.  As the leader, you start in the center and can invite others to take the space to speak as well.
  • Establish deeper discussions and even dialogue.  Your intention may be to reach a specific decision in your meeting or it may be to assure your message is heard as the leader.  Your intention may instead be to gather a group to talk about an issue and see where the discussion takes you.  This can be a full dialogue with a suspension of outcome and working together to discover.  The circle is nearly a requirement for this level of communication.
  • Enhance your presence.  All of us have “presence” of different sorts.  As leaders we need to work out our best expression of our own unique presence.  This presence serves us during these discussions in business meetings or other gatherings.  With a meeting circle you have a platform to show and use your presence.  In general this is enhanced by standing and moving vs. the traditional seated behind a table.  This circle room arrangement requires the speaker (leader) to stand and move.

Years ago I was conducting a presentation skills class.  In those days we typically set up a U Shape table and chair arrangement for our meetings.  Each of the students I taught never broke the apparent force-field that was at the entry of the front of the U Shape table setup.  I worked to convince them that their message and interaction with the audience would be enhanced if they broke the seal and stepped “into the U”.  As folks tried it as we ran practice presentations, they commented afterwards that they felt the difference.  They connected more; they showed off their own unique presence; they controlled the room energy and most importantly, they were heard.

I have mentioned it before that humanity has forgotten more than it has learned.  Add stepping into the circle as something forgotten by modern society.  Native Peoples know this power and many of our teachers today understand it too.  Pull people or students into a circle and let the communication flow.   If you work in a business environment even a highly corporate environment, I bet you can find opportunities to get the right room and forget the tables.  Arrange the chairs into the circles and when ready … step into the center and be the leader.

We keep moving folks, moving together.